Just What I Need: Culling My Sex Toy Drawer

I recently had a good friend stay with me, and as he walked into my bedroom, as he saw the abundance of sex paraphernalia exposed in my open nightstand drawer it took him aback. His eyes widened, he chuckled and said, "of course your bedroom is stocked like a Brisbane brothel." He wasn't wrong. For a minute I looked at it objectively and said, "huh, I wonder how it got that packed?"As a sex educator, I am constantly trying out new sex toys so it is understandable that I might have one or two items I'm test-driving for a future review. But this was A LOT crammed into a small space (insert your own dirty joke here).

I started emptying out the overstuffed drawer. As I went through it, I wondered how each item got such elite status so as to make it from the closet of unemployed toys, into a place where it would actually be used. What the hell was in there? When I dumped the contents out on my bed, I found the usual suspects; vibrators, condoms, lube and some interesting items that were living in that back area in the drawer where you eventually discover things that really don't belong in there. That Advil I thought I dropped last year, now crusty from lint, a pen devoid of ink, a stretched out hair tie and for some odd reason, change. 

I decided I was going to clean it out and only put in there the things I actually use regularly. Here's what I finally decided I needed:

THREE VIBES

According to my nightstand, I looooove clit stimulators. My drawer was overrun with six of them. SIX. I have one clit, yet I used six vibes to make it happy. I know that I like different types of stimulation in and around my vulva including the peak of the clit, but I decided only three were really necessary: 

  1. A directly on the clit glans vibe, my choice: The Womanizer

  2. A vibe that I could use all in and around the labia: the Blush Aria Finger Wand and

  3. A reliable backup vibe in case one of the other two ran out of charge in the middle of "me time": the Zumio.

The rest of the clit vibes were put back in the closet where my other toys live in obscurity.

NO DILDOS

I had one dildo in the drawer, a Colors Pleasures dildo. I love dildos. I love to collect them. I love to look at them. I love to suck them. Insert them into my vagina or ass? Not so much. It's not that I never use them, it's just that I rarely do, and certainly not enough to earn a coveted spot in my nightstand. It needed to go bye-bye. 

TWO BUTT PLUGS

I had two butt plugs; a Fun Factory Bootie and a Njoy Pure Plug. This was understandable because sometimes I like a smaller, lighter plug and sometimes I really want the feel of stainless steel and the heft that it brings to anal fun. I couldn't bear not having them to choose from, so I listened to my heart and chose them both. Sophie's Choice avoided.

ONE DUAL STIMULATION

I had two: the Vibratex Original Rabbit and the Fun Factory Amorino (which I reviewed here). To be honest I used them both for different moods. When I wanted to be more filled up I used the Rabbit. When I didn't want that much volume in my pussy, I used the Amorino. I decided to leave my first love in the drawer, my Rabbit. It was the first vibe I bought at Pleasure Chest and it was the only vibe I used for a long while. It was reliable and familiar ... like an old friend.

ONE COCK RING

As someone who has sex with penises, I like to have a cock ring in my drawer. Sometimes I suggest it to my partner, sometimes he asks. I had three in my drawer before the culling: a Tantus Super Soft C-ring, a stainless steel cock ring and a Speed Shift adjustable cock ring. I had to pick just one, so I chose the most egalitarian of the three, the Speed Shift adjustable cock ring. This way my guest has more control over what kind of pressure he likes around his balls. Nice of me, huh? (Update: I added in the Tantus cock ring because it's just too close to my heart to leave out.)

ONE MASTURBATION SLEEVE

Again, I like penises. Sometimes when I'm entertaining one with my mouth or hand, I like to add something a little different, ya know, just for funzies. I had the GoodHead Helping Head stroker in my drawer already and so there it stayed. Always good to have at an arm's reach, I can cup it in my hand when I'm using it, or he can use it as a traditional stroker if he so chooses. One and done.

TWO LUBES

Check this out ... I had SIX, count 'em - SIX bottles of lube in my drawer. I really, really like lube, apparently as much as I like clit vibes. All of them were Sliquid 8-ounce bottles and all of them were filled to various levels. What I had before the reorganization: Silver (silicone), Silk (hybrid), Sea (water-based), Satin (moisturizing) and Organics Gel. What stayed: Sliquid Silver silicone is what I use 50 of the time, so that was an easy pick, but I needed a water-based to use with toys (btw, you can't use silicone lube with silicone toys). I chose Sliquid Sea to live in my nightstand because I find it has just a little more slip to it than some of the other water-based I like and I like me some good slip. I put all of them in my sex ed kit, however, and replaced them with the handy 2-ounce size that Sliquid makes now. This left for MUCH more room than the six 8 ounces did, and when they're used up, I can refill them with what's left in the 8oz. bottle. Score.

A FEW CONDOMS - 2 OF EACH SIZE/TYPE

Condoms are actually something that I check a few times a year to make certain they haven't expired. I chuck the expired ones into my sex ed kit to use on demos when I'm teaching. All usable ones end up in my nightstand. ALL OF THEM, apparently. I took the mess of them (about 20) and stored them in a cool, dark place. What stayed: two ONE The Legend, two medium Lifestyles Skin (polyisoprene) and two average-sized Lifestyles Snugger-fit. I also LOVE the Unique condoms (they come in all three sizes now - yay!) which you can only get online. Check them out, they are "unique." So, I keep those condoms in the drawer along with a couple of internal condoms that are fabulous to have on hand, especially when you run out of (or don't have) condoms for the penis. Now, I just have eight condoms plus three credit card sized packages of Uniques right at my bedside in case they need to be called into action.

TWO PAIRS OF NON-LATEX GLOVES

What I had: none. This surprised me as prostate play with my partner is something I enjoy. Clearly, it has been a while since I needed them! I popped a couple of rolled-up pairs of nitrile gloves (you never know who is allergic to latex) in the drawer just in case the mood strikes.

ONE BOTTLE OF TOY CLEANER AND A FRESH WASHCLOTH

I have to have a toy cleaner and so should you. I clean my toys obsessively. You want to keep those toys hygienic and having a toy cleaner and a washcloth or towel in your nightstand makes sure that you are always reminded to clean your toys. I had a ton of individual wipe packets strewn about until Sliquid Shine came out. Just like everything they make, it's body safe so I feel good that any residue left won't give me an infection.

EXTRAS:

MAGIC WAND RECHARGEABLE

Ok, technically this doesn't live IN my nightstand but safely and discretely stuffed between my mattress and my headboard. I love that Magic Wand . That thing is seriously one of my top three toys of all time. Not only does it have strength (which I like), but it's great to use with a partner. I can put it on my cheek while giving head for some extra sensation my partner may like or I can wedge it between us during sex in various positions in order to stimulate my clit. Plus, it also soothes sore muscles!

WARM PERSONAL TOY WARMER

I don't like the feeling of ice-cold toys in, or on me, I'm funny that way. This is precisely why I have my Warm sleeve/pocket/envelope thing plugged in and ready to warm up my toys before I use them. It too, lives between my mattress and headboard next to the Magic Wand for when I need it. Technically, it should go on my nightstand but I have too much going on there too ... that project is for another day.

MASSAGE OIL SACHETS

I love it when my partner starts (or ends) the evening with a nice massage. Since I'm trying to keep my nightstand bulk at a minimum, I opted for the Sliquid Massage Oil Cube which has 12 individual (travel-friendly) sachets to pick up and use when you feel like it.  No messy, leaking bottles rolling around in there, just neat little foil squares of heaven. I added a box in the nightstand in case the mood strikes.

That's it! Mission accomplished. My sex drawer is complete and stocked with the necessities. Now I'm ready for my next experience, whatever and whenever that may be, comfortable with the fact that everything is fresh, organized and charged. Now, on to the top of the nightstand...

 

Here it is, in all its glory:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(some items are in my top drawer and therefore not shown above)