Partner Play: New Ways to Get in the Mood

Seduction. It can strike fear into the heart of any poor soul looking for a new way to show their paramour they love them.  But fear not! I bring good news! Right now is the best time to get creative with new escapades in the boudoir! What better excuse to turn on your inner slut and strut your way to a perfect late night love tryst? The following are a few suggestions on how to make your partner purr with delight.

SENSORY OVERLOAD: It doesn’t make you the Marquis de Sade if you slap on a harmless little blindfold. When you take away their ability to see, you take away their expectation of what’s coming next. This heightens the rest of their senses, like their sense of touch. After they're blindfolded, let them know that only you are allowed to touch and that they need to keep their hands to themselves … for now. Begin by lightly and ever so slowly grazing your fingers over the parts of their body that seldom get attention. Perhaps try the base of the neck about an inch in and over the collarbone. They’ll squirm when you brush the slightest suggestion of your finger (or your tongue) over this spot. Next, the legs … there’s a spot on each inner thigh that is extremely sensitive on most people (especially penis having folks). You can find it by going about six to eight inches up and in from their knee. The tip of your tongue is your best bet here, while you use your fingers on the identical spot on the opposite leg. Since you’re down there anyway, stroke the backs of their knees the same way. The key to this tactile journey is for your touch to be light and slow with a dash of the unexpected as you explore the other, shall we say, more “familiar” body parts. Think of this as a lovely “amuse bouche” to the main course of what’s coming next. They’ll barely be able to hold still!

IT'S A PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN WORLD:

It’s the eternal question; is porn, art? My answer? Who cares? It gets the job done, and I for one, LOVE IT. Whether you are a connoisseur, a regular viewer or a sporadic patron, you cannot deny it’s lustful effect. And, for many people, there’s nothing sexier than when you two can enjoy porn together (with a little groping under the covers for good measure). Granted, some sex flicks can be pretty explicit and may not be your cup of tea. In this case, I suggest “couples porn”. Couples porn is usually more sensual and focused on "love-making". Think more storyline and lustful passion than 90 minutes of hard fucking. Whether you get off on the mechanics and the visual or the connection and desire there's sure to be something for both of you. What could be more perfect? Suggestions? I thought you’d never ask: my site, www.ladycheeky.com, www.brightdesire.comwww.crashpadseries.com, www.erikalust.com, and www.frolicme.com are great places to start.
Thank me later.

GO EASTERN:

You don’t need to be a yoga master or a seer to partake of the sensual gifts the eastern philosophies have given us. You might've heard of the sacred art of Tantric sex and the ancient sex position guide the Kama Sutra. Both those traditions take some dedication and time to practice. But there is a part of Tantric sex that you can take a page from and learn pretty easily ... erotic massage.

Though it's not legal in the U.S., in some parts of the world, like the UK and London, you can use a site like Xmassage to find a professional to help you out with erotic massage. However, erotic massage is a skill that can be learned with minimal effort. There are some books out there that are adept at instructing you on how to sensually massage your mate, but if you learn best visually, then I highly recommend the Pleasure Mechanics online class on couples massage. The Pleasure Mechanics are well-versed sex educators with years of experience and training. Their online classes are varied and a terrific place to pick up some new skills.

Once you're ready, set the mood with candles, ambient music and something to massage your partner with. But beware, commercial massage oils and lotions shouldn't be used to massage penises and vaginas that will be having sex, so please make sure you give your massage with something body safe. I recommend something with great slip that won't dry out easily like silicone lube or even a natural oil, like coconut oil.  Keep in mind though, that if you plan on having penetrative sex, oil of any sort is incompatible with latex and should not be used with dams or condoms.

At the end of the day, it’s about showing your love and hopefully getting closer to your partner. Sexual abandon is all about being open and building trust, so as always, stay true to yourself when trying something new and set your intention to have an earth-shaking night. Whether you’ve been together 30 years or 30 minutes, any of these sexy scenarios will help bring a smile to your face and that of your lucky partner.