Five Ways to Get Past New Year's Fat Shaming

Remember, this is a manufactured holiday

The idea that we all have to set goals on the first of January every year is, like society’s version of beauty, a construct. Holidays like Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and yes, New Year’s Eve were all manufactured by companies that make greeting cards, chocolate, and other wares, as a way to increase sales. So, though it might be tempting to go along with the festivities (and by all means do, if that’s what floats your boat) let yourself off the hook. No festivity should be a pressure cooker. Go to the ball drop or the dinner party or the 80’s themed costume extravaganza with a Ms. PacMan cheese platter … knock yourself out! But, if you’re not feeling like partying up a storm for whatever reason, fuck it. Just say “Not my circus. Not my monkeys” and stay home. It's ok. Take out, Netflix and pajamas are just as valuable and fun as the party without the drunk people and the traffic. Enjoy!

 

You are in charge of your own body.

Some people love to tell you what to do with your body.  From the Pro-Lifers to the over-zealous gym rats. Don’t listen to them. Stick your fingers in your ears. Turn a blind eye. You are the captain of your own ship, meaning you have a choice whether to take in their comments, or whether to ignore them completely. The fact of the matter is, you never need someone dictating to you how getting in shape is good for your health or that losing weight will make your life all bright and shiny like a pearl. If you find yourself thinking about your body negatively somewhere between Christmas and the end of January (or any time of year actually), remember to be kind to yourself. This time of year brings out a lot of triggering conversation and messaging from friends and family. Maybe your cousin Clea can't stop talking about her New Year's cleanse she's got going on, and your Uncle Marty tells everyone and their mother that he has just bought a Bowflex. It doesn't matter. You can be happy for them AND happy for yourself that you just saved money on fancy juices and a hunk of metal and pulleys. Who you are and how you live your life is your decision and if you're happy, fuck 'em. Even if you're not happy ... you get to choose, in the privacy of your own mind, what will make you happy, and follow that feeling.

Mute the commercials

I don’t know about you, but it’s annoying enough to see Marie Osmond hawking NutriSystem year round, but over New Year’s they double up and you can’t get away from her and the other “diet programs” schilling their wares on the TV … even Oprah is doing it (really? Oprah? They have Oprah now?). My suggestion is when watching live TV, get in the habit of muting the commercials. This way you don’t have to hear the incessant chirping of reasons why your body needs to change from Marie, Oprah or even Dan Marino.

 

 

Pick up a supportive book

Besides my fabulous book, Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life, there are myriad other books out there that will support you in who you are, where you are and what you want to be. Jes Baker wrote the consummate book on being fat, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls, and Rebecca Scritchfield, has Body Kindness, all about … well, being kind to yourself and your body, and my recent fave, Jen Sincero’s, You Are A Badass (self-explanatory) are all books that will lift your spirits and have you cheering for yourself. Pick up and read any one, or all three of these books over the new year, or pick from an extended list I have HERE and you'll have all the support you need and more to get you through just about anything.

Have sex (with someone else or yourself)

I know … you’re probably rolling your eyes right about now, but stop. Having sex is a great way to get really appreciative of your body and what it’s capable of … at any size. Regardless of whether you’re knocking boots with your paramour or you’re going it alone, concentrating on the pleasure your body is doling out and is capable of giving you (and/or a partner) centers and grounds you. Realizing that you are not your size through the freeing and naturally sensual art of giving and receiving pleasure is the ultimate way to empower yourself through the new year and beyond.